Hey Dora! In the exterior shot, I kept looking down into that alley, but the mask shop is on the left, right? I think the eye needs some more ques as to where to go. You could do that with lighting maybe as well, like have the light shining in through the cracks in the wood ceiling thing right to the mask shop and then alley could be darker. And the interior, I like that he walks down into it, the space looks full and cramped except for the left corner, are you going to put something there? It feels pretty empty compared to the rest. Maybe a moroccan lamp or something? Otherwise I think they are coming along nicely...hope that was helpful! See you tomorrow.
Hey Chantrelle, Thanks for the feedback. Yea, I have been struggling with all the things you've mentioned. For the exterior, I am going to try to force the focal point with lighting since I can't seem to achieve it with line. JP suggested somethings on Monday and I tried to add some of those elements without changing the drawing too much. I think I just invested a lot of time in to the line drawing so I'm reluctant to make changes there.I hope it works, otherwise I'm gonna have to re-design it... something that I don't have time to do because of deadlines. As for the interior, I kind of just stopped drawing because I wanted to start painting it... so yes, the left corner will be filled up with something - not sure what yet, but I'll try to think of something. A lamp is a good idea. I'll play with that idea. Thanks for commenting so soon!! I'll see you later tonight. :)
Dora, I think a foreground element in the exterior might help direct the eye left, otherwise it is very one-point perspective looking. Your interior is looking good, but watch out for the space relationship between the foreground mask and the little lamp. It seems like a really awkward placement to me. Overlapping them a little bit would help with that, I think.Keep it up!
Hey Liz, I didn't catch the mask/lamp relationship before. Thanks for mentioning it!! I will definitely correct that in the painting. :)
Hey Dora,immediately when I look at your pieces I feel like they're is not a definied hierarchy of shapes. Looking one step closer though, I really enjoy the style and technique yer using, great use and control of the pencil. Even through line there will be a sense of depth, and that's done by keeping the elements in the foreground feeling bigger than the elements towards the background.In terms of shape hierarchy, it breaks down from general to specific. Figuring out your foreground, middle ground, and background silouettes, and then graphically balancing them. Usually I keep this in the back of my mind as I'm drawing picturing how these things will silouette. Your foregrounds for both pieces are sparce and so we aren't sucked into the piece. stronger forground elements that help border/frame your points of interests as the viewers could help. The exterior could use a foreground element to the left side. and you could even throw something up in the upper right corner. Do not be afraid to be bold.definitely look at the framing elements that paul felix uses he's a master of graphic design and showing depth, even through line.There is more to say... unfortunately these things are usually easier to show than tell.but definitely at this point it would help a lot if you take 3 values and throw them down to see the shapes and to balance them graphically by adding or subtracting elements.
oh yeah and definitely the same applies for your interior shot. The empty space that you have left to the bottom left of the shot suggests that the point of interest will be there, but in actuallity it feels better right at the counter. Probably finding some more interesting foreground elements to throw in there to the left would help a lot.This is a nitpicky thing, but just so yer aware. The door way, even from the outside feels very cramped and short. I feel as if I would have to hunch over to get into this place. The proportions are pretty inconsistant, but the idea is there, and the feeling is there. Proportions and such will come easier in time and mileage.It definitely feels like you learned what you could here and it'd be a matter of applying these things to the next piece.
Wow Martin, that's a lot of awesome feedback! I'm going to try and make those changes in the paintings... like adding more foreground and balancing out the piece. Thank you for the long and thorough crit! It brought to light things that I haven't really thought about.