Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Sighting sequence revisions

Hi everyone. I made some changes to my "sighting" sequence. These are roughly timed out. My intent is to show that Ahab's daughter has to put up with some rough situations in her pursuit of moby, but she's tough and capable.

Anything you guys have to say is appreciated. Thanks!


  1. NIIICCCEEE! She drew first blood and it was awesome. Good revision, Mike. I really like the changes- it feels more to the point and quicker. The cutting was a nice touch because it shows her character and that she'll do what she needs to do. It also foreshadows, in a way, how she will try to 'cut' the whale. The stakes have been raised and its easier to take this as a serious scene- I was totally involved with it. good upshot too when she was cornered. I think I would expect a different reaction besides just "bitch" from the crew guy. that sort of took me out of it for some reason. On a technical note, I think the frames when that crew member initially walks past ahab while she's mopping, the perspective is off. He looks like his feet are too low and are IN the floor boards. If you look at it, the horizon line is where? At Ahab's knees essentially right? So that plane of the horizon line should intersect everything else in the shot at that same level, so the crew guys knees should be at the horizon (the same level as ahab) or even higher if he is larger as I suspect he would be. Also, this is the first time you see this guy in the scene and maybe you could change his design in this first shot to hint that he's a bad guy. Maybe he has shorts and you can see a evil looking tatoo, or there's at least some rope things hanging down or something to show him as a threat from the beginning. Overall- awesome, just some notes...good luck

  2. hi michael fong! really like the new scene, the angles are really cool. so after she runs up the stairs she adjusts her jacket. I don't really feel that's necessary. i think she would be more anxious to see moby dick. so she would intensely grab the ledge and lean over the side of the boat to get a good look. then you can focus in on her expression. because body language wise, shes just standing there, popping her collar like shes cool, while everyone behind her is running around with their head cut off. hope that makes sense. good luck

  3. Thanks for the comments guys! Very helpful!