Sunday, May 10, 2009

J & J to time!

OK guys, here it is with a little more rhythm. Open to all suggestions, especially any way to plus the witches transformation, particularly the first time, from owl to witch. I'm just mentally blocked on how to make it cool. Also please let me know if anything is unclear or stupid or anything else that comes to mind. Thanks!


  1. Very cool scene Mike, I like it alot. Watching it in sequence and to time, I noticed some areas that could use some more 'lovin' in the way of transitions. The moment when the devilish Jorinda flirtatiously takes off from Jorigel to make him chase her- the close up shot, and the running away shot, are very similar and that transition is a bit jarring. I'd say change the angle of that run away shot, maybe to more of a down shot since she is fleeing and has power over Joringel so she'd be diagonally up to the left of him, who would be lower in the frame. If that makes sense.

    Also, when Jorinda stumbles upon the castle, and berates Joringel as if to say, "quit it you jerk, this is serious!" and turns back to the castle, you might want to compositionally place the castle a little closer to where Jorinda and Joringel were in the frame previously, or just really place a large amount of contrast and emphasis on where the castle is now. As those shots transitioned, I got lost and was looking at the trees in the fore and middle ground instead of seeing the castle as a first read. Maybe this would also be a good time to use more up and down shots to communicate the power of the castle over them.

    The last thing was that at the end when Joringel is released from the roots, he had been previously looking towards where the witch was taking his avian fiancee, only to look back at the roots when the released him, and then refocus back on to where they were going. I would think that the shift in focus detracts from the most important thing- the owl. Maybe, the roots could let him go, but he doesn't care, he's fixated on the owl no matter what. It would keep the audience focused without any distractions.

    I hope that helps some, overall, I love how you've worked out the problems and came up with some cool visuals.

  2. Awesome comments Steve! Seriously. Thanks for taking the time to go over it, I appreciate the fresh set of eyes. I totally see what you mean about the transitions and the focal points.

  3. Your story is really funny Mike. After the with has tramsform to herself, there's a panel of the Joringel and Jorinda both speechless and shocked. I think you ought to add another panel after that of the same shot but with Jorinda leaving. That way it would connect better with you next panel when you cut out with Joringel shaking and his girl is in the background running. Also a lot of the shots of the couple in the beginning are bullz-eyes with them both similar sizes. Even if they're just talking or standing there looking at the castle try to push the depth and camera angles more. Otherwise, I think this is pretty good Mike!